Sherlock Holmes is no doubt the most attractive fiction character for me (But Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is not my favorite novelist, Milan Kundera is). I got “The Complete Sherlock Holmes” the second year in middle school, a book with 1000+ pages. I was so obsessed with it and the obsession filled my adolescent years. I used to put the book under my pillow and read it every night before bed (Yes, I have read every story of Sherlock Holmes many times. When I look back, I feel so lucky because a teenager can certainly do something much worse with the excessive hormones. Things can always get worse so be thankful). I came across the tv scripts that I excerpted when sorting through my notes today. They are from A Scandal in Belgravia, the first episode of the second series of the BBC crime drama series Sherlock. Whenever I read them, the feeling is always the same, killing SEXY.

JW: John Watson

AI: Irene Adler

SH: Sherlock Holmes

Conversation 1

JW: You flirted with Sherlock Homes?

AI: At him. He never replies.

JW: No. Sherlock always replies to everything. He is Mr. Punchline. He will outlive God trying to have the last word.

AI: Does that make me special?

JW: I don’t know. Maybe.

AI: Are you jealous?

JW: We’re not a couple.

AI: Yes, you are. There, ‘I’m not dead. Let’s have dinner.’

JW: Who the hell knows about Sherlock Holmes? But for the record, if anyone out there still cares, I’m not actually gay.

AI: Well, I am. Look at us both.

AI: I don’t think so, do you?

Conversation 2

AI: Let’s have dinner.

SH: Why?

AI: You might be hungry.

SH: I’m not.

AI: Good.

SH: Why would I want to have dinner, if I wasn’t hungry?

AI: Oh, Mr. Holmes. If it was the end of the world, if this was the very last night, would you have dinner with me?

AI: Too late.

Conversation 3

AI: Oh, dear God. Look at the poor man. You don’t actually think I was interested in you? Why? Because you’re the great Sherlock Homes, the clever detective in the funny hat?

SH: No. Because I took your pulse, elevated. Your pupils, dilated. I imagine John Watson thinks love’s a mystery to me, but the chemistry is incredibly simple and very destructive. When we first met, you told me that disguise is always a self-portrait – how true of you. The combination to your safe, your measurements – but this, this is far more intimate, this is your heart and you should never let it rule your head. You could have chosen any random number and walked out of there today with everything you work for. But you just couldn’t resist it, could you? I’ve always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage. Thank you for the final proof.

Conversation 4

AI: Brainy is the new sexy.

Hui: Well, not that new.

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